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Here are some riddles which I collected from outside sources:
Q - Why are there no
psychiatrists for dogs?
A - Everybody knows dogs aren't allowed on couches.
Q - How many
psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A - Only one, but the light bulb has got to really WANT to
change.
Q - How many
poets does it take to change a light bulb?
A - Three. One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle,
and one to change the bulb.
Q - How many
country-western singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A - Three. One to change it and two to sing about missing
the old burnt out one.
Q - The more there
is of it, the less you see. What is it?
A - Darkness.
Q - Where does
satisfaction come from?
A - From a satisfactory.
Q - When things go
wrong, what can you always count on?
A - Your fingers.
Q - What is the
difference between a hill and a pill?
A - A hill is hard to get up, and a pill is hard to get
down.
Q - Why can't you
keep secrets in a bank?
A - Because of all the tellers.
Q - Why should you
never tell secrets in a garden?
A - Because the corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes, and the
beans talk (beanstalk).
Q - Why did the
invisible man go crazy?
A - Out of sight, out of mind.
Q - Why did the wife
understand her invisible husband so well?
A - Because she could see right through him.
Q - When is it good
to lose your temper?
A - When you have a bad one.
Q - Are you crazy if
you talk to yourself?
A - Not unless you answer.
Q - Can you spell
jealousy with two letters?
A - NV (envy).
Q - Why is the
ocean angry?
A - Because it has been crossed so many times.
Q - Why are birds
poor?
A - Because money doesn't grow on trees.
Q - What is worse
than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A - A turtle with claustrophobia.
Q - What did one
grape say to the other grape?
A - If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be in this jam.
Q - What has four
eyes but cannot see?
A - Mississippi.
Q - What are the six
main seasons?
A - Summer, fall, winter, spring, salt and pepper.
Q - Why is your
heart like a policeman?
A - Because if follows a regular beat.
Q - What criminals
can you find in a shoe store?
A - A pair of sneakers.
Q - What animal
breaks the law?
A - A cheetah.
Q - What kind of
mistake does a ghost make?
A - A boo-boo.
Q - What should you
say when you meet a monster with two heads?
A - Hello, hello.
Q - What happened
to the guy who couldn't keep up his payments to his exorcist?
A - He was repossessed.
Q - At this moment
everyone in the world is doing the same thing. What is it?
A - Getting older.
Q - What belongs to
you but is used more by others?
A - Your name.
Q - What doesn't
exist but has a name?
A - Nothing.
Q - Why do you
always find something in the last place you look?
A - Because when you find it, you stop looking.
Q - What is the
beginning of eternity,
The end of time and space;
The
beginning of every end,
And the end of every race?
A - The letter E.
Here are a few
riddles which I wrote especially for mental health workers:
Q - What state has
the most cases of depression?
A - The state of mind.
Q - Why did the
rabbit keep hopping back and forth between Texas and Mexico?
A - Because it had a borderline personality.
Q - Why did the bear
swim from the North Pole to the South Pole?
A - Because it was a bipolar bear.
Q - How many social
workers does it take to change a light bulb?
A - Ten. One to do an assessment, one to write a plan, one to
check the state regulations, one to change the bulb, five to
review the process, and one to find placement for the burnt-out
bulb.
Q - How many social
workers does it take to change a light bulb?
A - None. People should learn how to live in darkness.
Q - What did the
Aspirin on the floor say to the Zoloft on the table?
A - Pick me up.
Q - Why did the
dentist refer the dog to a speech therapist?
A - Because the dog's bark was worse than its bite.
Q - How did the lost
psychotherapist find his way to work?
A - He followed a psychopath.
Q - Why did the
chicken cross the road?
A - Due to federal regulations regarding confidentiality, I
cannot answer that question.
(Written 04/03/06: bibliography available.)
Until we meet
again....... .......stay sane.
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