Chapter Nine
Last Essay
Background
information
Although this essay does not quite fit in
with the others which I chose to include in this book, I felt it
was important for two reasons. First, it shows that writing can
involve a specific project with a beginning and an ending. My
essays, for example, represent one phase of my range of writing.
Perhaps I will write essays again someday, but I am not strictly a
writer of essays. Just as I was never exclusively a social worker,
but had other aspects to my identity, I also have other directions
in which I want to travel with my pen and paper--and my computer.
Second, this essay shows how books (the reading of literature, history, etc.) can serve as a stimulus for one's own writing. I had intended to write a goodbye-essay as a way to bring closure to my essay project in Wave of Consciousness--I did not want to depart abruptly and leave my readers without a feeling of wholeness. I did not plan, however, to refer to Charles Dickens. I just happened to be reading David Copperfield, the ending of which gave me a structure for writing my "Last Essay." Dickens had already expressed my feelings for me. Although this is not a technique that I would use routinely, I think it worked in this instance and it was an enjoyable exercise. (Written 12/01/10)
Essay begins
here
September 11, 2001, required the personal
adjustment of every American. Over the past ten years, I have
attempted to understand that horrific day: its underlying causes,
its far-reaching consequences, and how it changed my daily life.
The method and the outcome of this attempt was the writing of over
200 essays about 9/11, current events, the profession of social
work, and some of my day-to-day activities.
As I bring closure to this project, I will turn to Charles Dickens' David Copperfield to guide me to the completion of this phase of my self-development and my pursuit of truth and reason.
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Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether
that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must
show. |
Thank you to all my heroes whom I have discovered on my journey: the 9/11 responders (and all responders throughout the world who secure our safety); our military men and women; our Border Patrol agents; every person listed in my Bibliography Notes who had the courage to grapple with difficult problems; and every reader of Wave of Consciousness, though we have never met, but who nonetheless enabled me to cultivate the reality of United We Stand.
The purpose of writing--beyond self-expression--is to publish and thereby make a genuine connection with readers. I hope, in this last essay, that our connection is re-affirmed rather than extinguished. Like David Copperfield toward Agnes, I have tried to be honest--to be a trustworthy source of inquiry and ideas. May that record prevail over distance and time.
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And now, I tried to tell her of the struggle I had had, and the
conclusion I had come to. I tried to lay my mind before her,
truly, and entirely I tried to show her how I had hoped I had come
into the better knowledge of myself and of her, how I had resigned
myself to what that better knowledge brought, and how I had come
there, even that day, in my fidelity to this. |
Agnes, I must now turn to other projects and diversify my methods. I could write essays forever--I enjoy it so much--but the consuming effort only hinders other creative endeavors.
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And now, do I close my task, subduing my desire to linger yet,
these faces fade away. But, one face, shining on me like a
Heavenly light by which I see all other objects, is above them and
beyond them all. And that remains. |
It will not surprise anyone that the face which I kept before my eyes throughout my essay-writing was the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center in New York City. But, there are other visual forms that motivate and inspire: the Statue of Liberty, the Lincoln Memorial, the Cross. The historical and spiritual meanings of such images helped me to stay focused on America's greatest values throughout this era of crisis, conflict, and distrust.
The Wave of Consciousness essays will remain on the internet for anyone who cares to spend some time here. My commitment, at this turning point, is to the freedom of speech and the access of information. Dear reader, I have given you my best, such as it is. God Bless America. (Written 12/01/10)
Next: Chapter Ten. Return to: Table of Contents. |
www.waveofconsciousness.com About Writing and Reading copyright © 2010 Natalia J. Garland |
REFERENCE NOTES:
1.) David Copperfield, by Charles Dickens. Published by
A Signet Classic, 1962, originally written around 1870. See pp.
13, 856, 870.