Chapter Ten

Extra Credit

Background information
Extra credit is a significant but amusing concept. Students who do not need extra credit will often do the extra assignment because they have a strong work ethic. Students who need the extra credit often lack motivation and interest. A few in the latter category, however, will wisely choose to get the few extra points they need to boost their grade from a "B" to an "A", or from a "D" to a "C." I decided to give myself extra credit for this chapter. I think I need it.

Below is an excerpt from an essay which was originally entitled "Lost Dreams, Part II." I extracted the paragraphs that more clearly focused on writing and reading. I had considered including it in Chapter Four, "A Collection of Random Notes," but changed my mind because the writing was structured as an essay rather than as a note. That was when I recognized another element of the larger writing process: deciding the arrangement of chapters or sections within the overall bulk of a manuscript. Writing involves selection and balance.

Moreover, this partial essay shows that the desire to write can happen later in life. I did not always want to be a writer. It was not my first love. Even after I pursued writing as a serious endeavor, it was difficult to find the time to write. I went through three phases of writing poetry. Next, I wrote a book of children's stories. However, a friend noticed that the stories presented two different grade-levels of reading comprehension. I would have to divide it into two books, and write additional stories for each grade-level. I never had the time to fix that problem, and I lost my momentum. Then, I started writing five novels--all at the same time. I developed notes and outlines for plots and characters, but never found the time to write complete manuscripts.

Finally, when I started writing essays in 2001, I seemed to find my niche in the world of creative expression. It was when I approached my senior citizen years that I managed, with the advent and aid of computers and the internet, to mold something into publishing condition. Essay-writing anchored me and liberated me. It is my foundation on which I will build other works. Everyone has a unique journey, and this was mine. (Written 12/01/10)

Essay begins here
Yes, I really would like to be rich enough to purchase Gore Vidal's estate. There, I admitted it. I would like to be rich! I wish I could afford an estate, but not because of greed or vainglory. It is just that a beautiful environment with places for privacy and solitude, as well as room for family and friends, seems ideal. It usually (though not always) takes a lot of money to buy quality. For example, my fantasy (or one of them!) is to own an original work of art. Maybe a Monet or Pissarro. Just one painting. I could be humble. Even just one Monet in my house would provide constant emotional nurture to my daily routine.

Now, words and grammar are cheaper and more precise than visual art, and they can be structured into infinite spoken and written beauty. A novel by Gore Vidal is a novel by Gore Vidal, whether you buy it new in hardcover or as a used and tattered paperback. You can buy an inexpensive reproduction of a painting, but it just is not the same. Words, however, do not change when mass-produced. I realized this when I was a young adult. Words provide an economical richness for those of us on tight budgets. So, I traded in my expensive art supplies for a much less costly pen and paper.

That is why I changed my college major to linguistics. I went to college in a era that had become modernized in course offerings. In addition to the standard academic courses in science, history and literature, courses in anthropology, psychology and sociology had gained respect. Along with this, however, was the growing tendency toward specialization. The old-fashioned liberal arts major had mostly disappeared along with the twist and the watusi. A major in linguistics, however, enabled the student to traverse different academic departments (especially foreign languages, literature, philosophy--somewhat similar to the old liberal arts major), but at the same time bound the various courses together thematically. And, despite its crossover diversity, linguistics maintained its rightful presence as an academic department in itself.

Languages open new worlds of travel, literature, and friends. Language opens the relationship between therapist and patient. Traditional therapy involves talking. It means that the patient needs to have some minimal verbal skills in order to participate. My major in linguistics served me well in that respect. I had decided that I could make my living as a librarian or French language teacher, but life's compass eventually pointed toward social work. The loss of the other two career possibilities was not a lost dream, but simply a change of plans based on more options and my increased self-awareness.

Funny, how it all fits together in sum: a respect for the environment, a need for shape, form, color and texture, a love of language and communication, a fascination with feelings and emotions, a memory of lost dreams, a quest for purpose and meaning, and an acceptance of the aging process while ever moving forward over obstacles and to goals. We all have choices to make. Sometimes our choices are within a limited range, but usually choices are available and we have to take responsibility for how we managed our lives.

Losing a dream or two or three can always be compensated for. We can transform lost dreams into viable alternatives. Serious harm is done only when we lose our humanity, mental stability, or spirituality. There are unscrupulous people and unjust systems in this world that would ruin our capacity for caring, undermine our mental health, and negate our faith. Summing up our life's choices can fill us with regret and self-reproach, but it can also reveal and affirm the essence of who we are. (Written 08/18/03 - Reprinted 12/01/10)