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Stacy worried that the storm might cause her to miss going to
court for her boyfriend's trial. She and Skip had been living
together for eight years. Skip had gotten his fifth D.U.I. and he
was facing a long prison sentence. Stacy wanted to be at the
trial to support his plea of innocence.
The rain was
pouring. The sky was dark and gloomy. Stacy finished putting on
her make-up, grabbed her raincoat and umbrella, and headed for the
bus stop. Her car had been wrecked in Skip's D.U.I. accident, so
she had to rely on the city bus for transportation. She took the
bus to court. The storm got worse on the way. As she climbed
the steps to the courthouse doors, a gust of wind snatched her
umbrella out of her hand. The umbrella blew furiously across
the courthouse lawn, smashed into a tree, and destroyed her
protective defenses as she entered....the Order in the Court Zone.
Her loving albeit
self-imposed task was to get the judge to listen to her legal and
clinical defense of her boyfriend. If only the judge knew how
hard Skip tried to stay sober. Once, he had stayed sober for a
whole month. Skip did not feel comfortable in A.A., so she had
been acting as his sponsor. It was really her fault that he got
the D.U.I. because she was not at home that Saturday. Her mother
had taken her to the mall to do some shopping. If only she had
said no to her mother, she would have been home and she could have
stopped Skip from driving. Stacy made a mental note to herself:
just say no to outside activities.
The lights flickered
in the courtroom. The storm was getting worse and worse. Stacy
could hear things blowing around outside. Thump! Bam! Boom!
It felt like there was a storm inside the courtroom. Then Stacy
heard the judge call her name. "Docket Number 11032003,
Stacy Nocar." Stacy was puzzled. Why was the judge calling
her name? Shouldn't he be calling Skip's name? The public
defender turned toward Stacy and motioned for her to come forward.
Stacy approached the judge.
"How does your
client plead?" asked the judge. "Guilty as charged,
your honor," answered the public defender. The judge looked
directly at Stacy and began questioning her. "Ms. Nocar,
whose fault was it that Skip was arrested for his fifth
D.U.I.?" Finally, Stacy was going to have her chance to
speak on behalf of her boyfriend. "It was my fault, your
honor. You see, my mother and I went....." The judge
interrupted her, "By the defendant's own admission, it was
her fault that Skip was arrested for his fifth D.U.I. This court
will hereby acknowledge the defendant's criminal offenses and
determine a sentence."
The judge continued
his oration. "Ms. Nocar is hereby convicted of extreme
co-dependency. Ms. Nocar allowed her alcoholic boyfriend to stay
in her house for eight years. She allowed him to stay without any
expectation of counselling or A.A. involvement. She allowed him to
stay even though he was intoxicated much of the time and incapable
of a satisfying relationship. She allowed him to stay after each
of his four previous D.U.I. convictions. In summary, Skip has
never experienced the full impact of his alcoholism because Stacy
Nocar continued to allow him to stay."
"The court has
therefore decided to treat Skip's fifth D.U.I. in a different way.
Instead of sentencing Skip, the court will sentence Ms. Nocar to
ten years in the state prison. Her home will be impounded. This
way, Skip cannot stay in Stacy's home any longer. Skip will be
forced to face some personal consequences, such as not having
dinner made for him each night. Skip will not be allowed to stay
in prison or to stay in Stacy's home."
Stacy could not
believe what she was hearing. She wanted to defend herself, but
she had come prepared to defend only Skip. She was at a loss for
words. She had never been at a loss for words in all her life.
She did not know how to speak on her own behalf. Ten years in
prison! Five D.U.I.'s! Eight years with Skip! Ten years without
Skip! Oh, my!
Suddenly, a bolt of
lightning struck above the courthouse. Zap! The lights went out.
The courtroom was enveloped in musty darkness. Stacy heard the
judge announce, seemingly from nowhere, "Order in the court!
Since we have no electricity, we will not be able to start today.
Court is adjourned until 8:00 a.m. tomorrow morning. Please drive
home safely." Everyone got up to leave. Stacy, confused,
got up from her seat in the back of the courtroom. Nothing had
happened? And, yet, so much had changed.
The public defender
walked over to Stacy. "Too bad we weren't able to try Skip's
case today. Hopefully there will be light tomorrow. Will you be
in court again tomorrow?" Stacy stared. She still had that
feeling of wordlessness. She managed to squeak out, "Um, no,
I don't think so. I can't take another day off work. I need money
to buy a new car. I'll let you handle Skip's defense. Besides, I
guess Skip needs to go to A.A. and get some counselling before our
relationship can grow. Maybe I could use some counselling, too.
Life has been too weird lately."
"Counselling
sounds like a good idea," replied the public defender,
"would you like a ride home?" Stacy thought for a
moment. The storm was clearing. She would not need her
blown-away umbrella for protection. She could see sunlight
peering over the clouds. It had seemed like the sun would never
shine again. Funny, how even a few sun rays from the sky could
light up the whole earth.
"Yes,"
Stacy smiled brightly, "I'd like a ride home. I can use all
the help I can get." The public defender smiled back,
"Can't we all!" (Written 11/03/03)
Until we meet
again....... .......stay sane.
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