Wave of Consciousness, "A Voice of Sanity in a World of Conflict"

Essay No.50

by Natalia J. Garland, M.S.W.

Welcome to my 50th essay since my first publication on October 1, 2001, less than a month after the terrorist attacks on our nation. I began writing these essays as a way to cope with September 11th, and I continue writing for similar personal reasons. Mine is a highly personal and private column which I choose, as a process of self-expression and catharsis, to offer to others for study.

Wave of Consciousness is not a professional website, although I expect that other professionals and students are the main readers. I do not write to contribute to social work knowledge or to enhance the profession. I do not write to assist colleagues, to advocate for social justice, or to serve as a whistleblower on any agency or practitioner. I do not write as a means of performing a pro-bono service. These are social work responsibilities to which I adhere when I am on the job. I also behave appropriately as a member of the social work profession when I am in public. Moreover, I use a portion of my own time and money to further my professionalism through continued education.

Because I have worked in the helping professions for a number of years, it is a great part, although not the whole, of my identity. I love social work. I cannot help forming my thoughts from a professional caretaker's perspective. It has become my nature. It is the way I look at life and how I make sense out of human behavior. Although I do not particularly write as a social worker, I write from a background of social work which heavily influences my interests. This distinction is essential in marking the boundary between my professional and personal manageability.

I have various facets to my identity. I am entitled to a private life. Social workers have First Amendment rights, too. These rights have become more dear to me since September 11th. I have always enjoyed writing for self-expression of my private thoughts and feelings (i.e., poetry). But now I write from feelings of appreciation and a conviction to utilize my First Amendment rights, and to share my compositions with peers who might relate to how I am coping with home and work issues in our unstable world.

If you analyze my writing, you will notice that I express commentary and opinion as well as certain episodes from my daily life. Any essay that is problem-focused is also solution-focused. My essays emphasize understanding and convey a spirit of hope. Among the essays which express concerns regarding the profession or our national and global situations: about one-third are problem-focused, and about two-thirds are supportive of someone or some situation where life-affirming activity is happening. I have also started to write more fiction as an expressive option.

My literary maxim is actually derived from Holy Scripture. ".....whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things" (Philippians 4:8). This passage would seem to give breadth to love of knowledge, problem-solving, beauty and order, personal reflection, and supportive communication. My essays attempt to discuss some of these "whatsoever things."

My column is private yet public. It is the internet that makes these two qualities complimentary and possible. The internet affords me the opportunity to be writer, editor and publisher. This is a new identity for me. People who like my essays can keep visiting. People who do not like my essays can simply find other websites to visit. There is no pressure or obligation either way: there is only the freedom of self-expression and the freedom of choice.

Those other facets of my identity, which I started to mention earlier, are the reasons that I continue to write. There are intellectual, spiritual, and amicable facets which are permitted expression in my column. On the job, we set aside our personal life for the sake of the patient. Our priority is patient care. I have no complaint about that. My joy is to build up another's life. But I have to take care of myself, too. Writing my column is an act of self-care.

If visitors personally gain from my essays, this would be a pleasant reward added onto the satisfaction of self-expression and creativity. It would mean that communication was accomplished, that a human connection was achieved among peers. If by chance my essays contribute to the study of social work, this would be a fringe benefit which, of course, I would not reject. If my essays contain errors, then I will need to exercise humility and wisdom to perceive those errors and make corrections. I also reserve the right to change my mind and write something that might seem contradictory to something I wrote before. I really do not have a comfort zone: I like to challenge myself.

If I accomplish nothing more than to maintain my own sanity so that I can function at my best, that alone has to be worthwhile. Surely nobody in our democratic society would deny me this. So, I will probably keep writing so long as my mind keeps processing thoughts and feelings. You are welcomed to keep sharing my world. (Written 01/05/04)